subtle ways.

its been a while since i've slept at about 2 something in the morning. it was a long night where talking to anyone would just seem pointless. friends tried to cheer me up by talking nonsense and yea, caused occassional giggles here and there but it didnt last. i realized the more i talked about it, the more i cried. after a while, i just decided to call it a night and went to bed. i said a long prayer before i slept, and i woke up to a pretty good morning. :) Jesus answers prayers in the most subtle ways sometimes.

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on a lighter note, i had ice cream in the morning yo. not forgetting the yummy-licious curry chicken rice as well. *grin* yea, and today's the day where i stick my head into the books and study throughout for my last paper tomorrow. yea, you got it right, my last paper. :D and its badminton tomorrow night! oh rocks. :) an awesomeee game to playy after my finals. hey hey hey!

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anyhow, lauranne tagged me again. haha. *thinks* like two tags. oh dear. but i wont do all ALL but almost all? haha. yea, reading the tag thingy did make me laugh. lauranne, you're funny. haha. ;) so here goes;

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8 Random Facts about myself..

1. I comb my hair before I sleep every night.

my friends say i’m weird but haha, it’s a habit! i've got this mindset that if i'd comb it the night before, i'll most prolly have a good hair day the next day when i wake up. :D haha.

2. I burst out laughing when no one else is.
its pretty embarrassing at times but sometimes its just unavoidable. hee *blush*

3. I tend to eat more when I’m stressed/depressed/upset/cranky.
this is normal right? i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one ;p

4. I took the car to wash yesterday and it rained after.
i was bummed out cos it was like finally clean and the rain just had to come to dirty it again. rawrr.

5. When I’m bored, I resort to painting & drawing my nails.
its drawing or designing hmm, whatever but yea. haha. it can get quite annoying too cos i tend to be a perfectionist and some days just aren’t my days so yea.

6. I’m absolutely loving the song, Tong Hua.
yea, i don’t understand chinese but i’ve got people translating it for me :D

7. I’m very particular about fingers & finger nails.
haha, im seriously serious. i really dislike people who bite their nails off. somewhat like a woodpecker. ><

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8. I can’t wait for my toe nail to grow backkkk!

its been almost a year i think. hehe. then I could possibly pamper myself by going for a pedicure. :D heheheh

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5 things..

5 things found in my bag;
- wallet
- eyeliner
- handphone
- tissue
- pen

5 things found in my wallet;
- photos
- paper money
- coins
- v’day notes
- cards

5 things found in my room;
- full-length mirror
- earring stand
- wardrobe
- dressing table
- computer

5 things I’ve always wanted to do;
- bungee jump
- go to NZ where they filmed LOTR
- dance ballet awesomely well (haha!)
- design my own house
- design products/book or mag covers

Who tagged you?
- Lauranne

Your 5 impressions of her;
- thoughtful
- sweet
- hyperactive
- serious
- converses well in mandarin :)

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yea, i stand amazed or in awe at ppl who can speak well in mandarin cos i cant. haha. i've tried to but i failed miserably. sigh. ehehe.

okay peeps, i'm off to study human comm now. :)

who am i?

Who Am I

by Casting Crowns

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Verse 1

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.
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Pre chorus

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.
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Chorus

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am,
I am Yours.

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Verse 2

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again,
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
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Bridge

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,
I am Yours.

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reality.

what happens when reality hits you in the face? the reality that you never wanted to accept since you were a kid. one that you never thought would actually happen. when you thought everything was finally going okay, and little things just come up and shatters that little dream you had going on where everything was just fine. you're not fighting it, but others are and you see them doing it.. for you.. it sucks to know that im just so helpless and yet, discontented with things.

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right now, i feel like questioning God all over again, and prolly even blaming him for things such as these. but, its not right. its been 4 months now, and i guess all i can really do is thank Him for His unfailing love, grace and mercy. He has blessed me with very close friends who has held me up throughout this journey. one that i never thought i had to go through.

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its really silly to just break down cos of a small incident but, it really did hit me hard in the face. guess its not that small after all and they're prolly doing it just out of compulsion and i guess its showing. but it really hurts, it sucks. i wished things were better off than before and now. i honestly dont know why im going through all this stuff. i wished i knew. i want to know. i want everything back. the four of us.

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God, please reveal Your plans. i know i said im gonna trust You and have faith but, im breaking apart again. im too weak and i need Your strength. its happening all over again. i dont know. i really dont know. i just know i NEED YOU. everything's too blurry for me to comprehend.

math.

im trying my very bext to get the best out of what i can study, revise and practice by tonight. the fear of flunking this paper has really gotten to me. i could really drive myself nuts going through the same 6 chaps over and over again. i feel pretty stupid that i cant do math. :( SIGH. while i think i'd pull through just fine, i've got my doubts again, if the paper is just plain tough, i'd die. honestly, i'd prolly fair better in ADP. shrugs.

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God, please help me pass my paperrr. :(

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tagged.

ok, this is my very first time doing this tag thingy despite being tagged a few times here and there. haha, prolly my first and last. we'll see :) ahaks! here goes;

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
twenty five!! :D yea, almost everyone knows it by now. haha.

2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
i like spending time and lazing around, well with company of course. im pretty much a social butterfly. heh. :)

3. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you?
3 blog buddies? i'd take lydia cos she's the one who never fails to make me smile and laughh. yea, we go a little bit crazy when we're together. haha. next is tab! :D haha. i love love tab. we could just laugh and have fun with everything around us on the island. err, we could improvise and use things (coconut trees? oh, its a desert island)to do anything like treasure hunt? :O haha. we could make tomyam and experiment with new food with anything edible we happen to find on the island. ahaks! and i'll bring jan! he could keep us all sane and serious. :) and prolly have fun with us too. we'll rock the island upside down. haha!

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
for a united happy family.

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
i think not.

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7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
right now, it would be you.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
start investing in my fairlady. haha! nah, prolly fund my own edu so it wouldn't be much of a hassle to my parents.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
sooner or later, yea. :)

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
lauranne- she's petite, very random and funny :)

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
one who's serious with God, taller than i am, has nice fingers & finger nails (haha, im weird, i know but its really importanttt!), true, funny (i seriously cant be with someone who has no sense of humor.. i'll die!), sweet, one who'd put up with me and my occassional mood swings/random moments/weird self/emo-ness.. and still love me the same :) a gentleman, oh yes he's gotta eat more than me so i wouldnt look so bad, mixes well with my friends :D understanding, honest, etc.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
not hate, but prolly despise? one who'd backstab, cheat.. well i've learned to forgive. heh. :)

13. What is your ambition?
haha. ambition, i'd usually go bonkers when it comes to questions like these. right now, a psyche major.. go into human resource and stuff.. im still deciding..

14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
oh, first impressions are important. well, it depends on attitude/personality :)

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
my relationship with God.

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
my low self-esteem.

18. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
i've got 3 people in my head. haha. and i'd think you guys know who you are ;)

19. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
i'd be 29 by then. haha. prolly with one kid, or maybe two :D sitting in my office, drinking coffee in my suit, with my BMW parked in front. haha. too far fetched? oh and going for evening walks with my husband. ahaks! and tea with the girlfriends, and the guys as well. haha.

20. Do you think you get hungry because you’re cold, or cold because you’re hungry?
well, i'll get hungry anyhow. haha!

im tagging; lydia, tab, christine, claryn, wei xiong, ian, sara, alexa.

its my first time so you ppl better do it cos i've done it. haha. :D

cupcakes.

im done with my study skills paper and i dont know how to feel about it. ahaks! well, the good thing is that one paper is down, just two more to go and im done :) hopefully, no repeats at all the next sem! lalala.

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im craving for the mini cupcakes from cuppacakes. ahhh! lydia, im waiting for you to come back so i'll have a buddy to eat all of em' with! ALL 49!! come back quick. they're delicious, i tell you! :D *giggles*

up & awake.

i've been up for almost an hour and im determined to follow my study schedule. hehe. 4 hours for each subject and it'll have me finishing by 10p.m. hopefully. :)

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not feeling too well today, all dizzy and a little melancholic. hope i'd get better as time passes. really need to concentrate and study. *diverts everything to books and notes* hah, if only it was as easy as that. shrugs.

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its so funny how the people you thought you knew pretty well dont seem like you know them at all when you start realizing their true colors. this all is getting me a little confused and im stuck wondering whether i really do know them or not. what more is when their true colors aren't that pretty after all. its only time that would spill all stories/myths that were hidden from the beginning. or rather, heard.

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but who am i to dictate whether im liking or just plain wondering about their true colors? well im a friend, a close friend maybe, prolly someone who stayed up the night just for a random convo and who's just very concerned.

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alrighty, bye! :)